Typically Loved In Vibrancy
by ErinNovelist
Summary: What if Freya wasn't cursed? What if, like Merlin, she was a servant hiding her magic? And then her life collides with his, and it all begins like it should have.


Her life had always been like a pebble lost in a strong current where it swirls through the water, spiraling at high speeds - up and down and all around.

She was, for all her efforts, stuck on a never-ending loop-de-loop.

She hadn't always though. Up until she met him, life had been fairly typical in the case of a witch pretending to be a mundane citizen of Camelot, hiding her magic day-in and day-out. She didn't know how it happened, and she didn't know why. All she did know was that the farm boy from Ealdor had something to do with the drastic changes that had been happening to her. It seemed fairly strange, she knew, to credit a single man for upturning her life, but it was the truth. She guessed you could say that she liked to believe in these types of things.

And she liked to think that it was all his fault that this happened.

But, at the same time, she had to remember that she bore some blame. After all, she did reciprocate his advances.

It was these kinds of thoughts which kept her sane while she huddled in the corner of the home, knowing he was gone, nowhere to be found. She told herself that she was alone for a reason; she was merely waiting for his return. All those years ago, when they made that pact underneath the crescent moon in Camelot, she had promised him she would wait.

She now knew it was because she had agreed that she loved him, from the moment they spent those few minutes introducing themselves outside King Arthur's chambers, when they were alone with one another.

_"I'm Merlin."_

_"Freya."_

_"Nice to meet you, Freya."_ His parting smile, so full of warmth, entranced her and sent her heart thrumming to the speed of a hummingbird's wings.

Somehow, in the span of those short, few heartbeats, she had fallen.

She fell hard, head over heels in love with him, and thus her life was turned completely around.

She couldn't exactly say what happened the night they kissed, and he promised to see her again. She knew that it was something deep within her that screamed he was worth it. Whatever clued her in on that concept would always remain a mystery to her. All she knew was that he felt the same, and that was something good, something she could count on, something that might have helped her continue her loop-de-loop life without him, just knowing that he was out there, thinking of her as well.

It was the first time she let herself take a risk.

* * *

When Freya was little, she used to wonder a lot about what it would be like to meet her soul mate. She had always dreamed of having that special someone who shared those special moments with her. She thought it would be the perfect courtship. No crying, no sadness, no fights, no anger – only love.

But in a relationship like the one she had imagined, there would not be any ability to feel, would there? If she wasn't able to be sad, she wouldn't be able to remember how much she missed him. If she wasn't able to fight with him, she wouldn't be able to realize how close to the edge they were. And if she wasn't able to be angry, she would never be able to remember why she fell for him in the first place.

Quite honestly, Freya did not know what a perfect relationship would be like. But she did know, that if one existed, it couldn't have been this, right? She would not be clutching the pendant he had left her to her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks, wishing she could take it all back.

_("I thought you'd like this," _he had told her as he secured the clasp of the necklace. She dropped her hair and flashed him a warm smile_. "This way, whenever you see it, you'll think of me.") _

To be fair, he was as much to blame as she was – and that's what upset her. One would think that after so much time together, she would be used to him following his King headfirst into magical battles and bandit-infested forests. But it was those dangers that were killing them. What if she lost him? What if he died? She didn't know how to handle that. So, Freya had come up with a proper solution: let her come along on his adventures.

Was he worth it? She considered him someone dear to her, yes. She knew that the feeling was mutual on his own accord and that he saw her as his companion for this moment in life, but he seemed to mean just a bit more to her than that. He always was. But she was not so sure about his own feelings now. Were they more platonic than hers?

She wasn't sure about what he was either. He wasn't close enough to be her "soul mate", and yet, he meant too much to be just someone close to her heart. He called her a "dear friend", a close advisor. And she trusted him, she truly did. She trusted that he would return the feelings as she did, one day, and that they could keep their relationship up if only the efforts were made on both parts. But they did not work with each other this time. And that was why, however much it pained her, she had decided there would be no next time.

He was the servant to the King, constantly following him. He had a life outside of her, and she was stuck her in Camelot, the serving girl for the Queen. Sure, he would be around almost all the time, but it wasn't the same. They shared hidden laughs, whispered secrets, and small smiles. But, lately, it had only been her committing to their relationship. It had become heavily one-sided, and yet, she kept fighting for him

But this had been the last straw. He went ballistic when she suggested her accompanying him on certain trips. He didn't want her to follow him, the dangers that would most certainly harm her. He said it wasn't worth it. The threat was too risky, overwhelming even.

For a moment, a sliver of a second, after she had finished crying, she wondered if everything even was worth it. Did he fear her getting closer? Or was he merely trying to keep her from harm? She had told him time and time again that she could take care of herself. Did he not trust her enough? It was crazy. She had only met him a few months before, and yet, somehow he had changed her. He meant something to her. She wished she knew what she meant to him.

The tears just wouldn't stop.

It was the first time she was ever unsure of what a perfect relationship was.

* * *

He said he didn't understand it at the time because he was falling for her too fast, too hard. He said that he didn't know anything more than what he felt for her. He said he was sorry for not having realized such a thing soon enough. He said the only reason he said no was because he didn't want to lose her.

She told him that it was quite all right. She told him at least he realized it. She told him that the feelings were mutual. She told him that she'd do anything for him. She told him that she was confused at where they stood now – what they were – because what they felt was too deep.

He said that the reason he didn't come by her house before he left on his adventures was because it broke his heart that with every goodbye, there was no guaranteed hello. She told him that her heart broke every time she saw him leave, knowing he wasn't there with her. He said that if she still deathly wanted too – she could come with him. She told him the offer still stood. All he needed to do was ask the King.

Freya never exactly thought about the aftermath of her decision, nor did she really care. She wasn't entirely sure how one could plan out for the worse in a spur-of-the-moment decision that could make her life – his life – better. She told him that if he wanted this to last – he had to make the effort to be more open to her. She was letting herself fall, and he had to be there to catch her.

He claimed that was what he wanted all along. He confessed to her that he thought that he was undeserving of someone as beautiful as her. She never thought of herself in that term, but coming from him, it made her heart beat even faster. He said that he was sorry for making it seem as if he didn't care.

She told him that she didn't mind. He was here now.

He told her that he was willing to try harder, of caring for her deeper, because he thought she was worth all this pain.

She said she'd do the same.

And he smiled.

It was the first time Freya said, "I love you."

* * *

He stared at her, his blue eyes glistening under the flickering lights of the candles. The rain pounded on the roof above them, and lightening lit up the sky. Thunder cracked, and she shivered unintentionally. She did not know what was going to happen. She did not know if they would be destined to work past this. She did not know if he would leave her forever because he found out the truth.

She confessed her fear of this happening. He shook his head in her direction, such a large action that portrayed her insecurities. That was it. He was leaving her. He was going to turn her in. It had been nearly two years since they had met one another, and now it was over. All because of her one mistake.

_"I'm sorry,"_ she said.

He did not scoff at her words. He did not give a scream of terror and retreat. He walked towards her with a grace that she believed only she could see, and he embraced me for what she thought was the last time. She relinquished in the gesture, falling against him, knowing that he would send for the guards soon.

But he was silent, and she immediately felt guilty. Why was she hurting when she had just broken his heart – his trust? All because she had used her magic to light a candle, unknowing that he was in the same room. She pulled away, and he looked at her oddly.

"_What's wrong_?" he asked.

She looked at him in complete disbelief and shook her head, mimicking his earlier action. He smiled and sat her down. He joined her, advising her not to lie to him, for he knew when she did, and asked her if she loved him.

She bit her lips, and suddenly, the words were out. She was telling him how much she depended on him, how much he meant to her, and she was scared to think that she would wake up one day and he wouldn't be there for her. She thanked him for everything he had ever done for her, and she was sorry for ruining it all.

He stopped her and said he knew that she had given all she was to him. He flashed her a bright smile and told her that the feelings were returned. Both of them had been tested and had overcome the secrets.

He kissed her and said he knew why she hid her magic from him. The sun broke through the storm clouds, and she was content.

"_There's something I need to tell you too_." As she looked at him, his eyes faded into a molten gold.

It was the first time Freya accepted her magic.

* * *

She could not believe that they had made it this far. From the moment they let one another truly know who they really were, things had been blissful. Freya could not believe that their relationship was strong enough to survive two full years. She could not believe she was here.

She could not believe she said yes.

He told her that he had loved her from the moment they laid eyes upon one another. He said that she was his everything. There was so much to say, so much that she had told herself that would never be spoken, but it was because he was here. This was happening.

They kissed, and she was still in shock throughout it all. He was here. He was asking for her hand in marriage. He was down on one knee, in front of her house, and now, she believed everything he ever told her. He was adamant that his feelings were real, and she wasn't going to deny it. He promised to never leave her side. He wanted her to be his wife. That way – nothing, not even death or Camelot's anti-magic laws could come between them, only love could make them stronger, and they could be together.

Freya agreed with smile, promising herself to love him forever.

He kissed her, and she was happy.

It was the first time Freya said, "_I do."_

* * *

It had been four years since she laid her eyes on Merlin, and when he came through that door of the place they called home, she welcomed it. It had been two years since they were engaged, and when he kissed her and said he loved her, she believed it. It had been a year and a half since they were married, and when he looked at her, it was just like the first time.

She had lived a good life in her years – not particularly extraordinary, but full because of him. She had no regrets; none that were worthy of her time. She was drifting now a days, on the borderline of ecstasy and heavenly happiness. It was out of this world, and she wondered if there were limitations to what she felt.

She hoped not. Happiness had become a part of her, such an important part that it would hurt for it to be torn away. It was typical, now, really. So all she could do was close her eyes and get ready for the next adventure.

When she opened her eyes, he was always there, calling out to her. She came into his outstretched arms and finally told him that she believed everything. She believed in their love. She believed in his magic. She believed in Albion and Arthur and Emrys and the legends. She told him that she loved him so much, and that she cannot believe it had only been four years. She believed that time flew when one was married to their best friend. It was the first time Freya believed in the future that Merlin was building, and she knew without a doubt, that he would be by her side, like he always was, protecting her.

"_I believe in you,"_ she said, and he kissed her.

It was like the first time all over again.


End file.
